Self-Determination theory (SDT) provides the link between human motivation, innate and culture-independent psychological needs, wellbeing, and high performance.
SDT explains that we are intrinsically motivated to grow, explore, connect and set ourselves meaningful goals. We become self-determined when we are able fulfill our need for competence, connection, and autonomy.
In the previous article, we had a close look at the psychological drivers for Autonomy, and how we can increase as sense of autonomy in ourselves and others.
Below you can find practical tips and suggestions to promote and maintain Competence and Relatedness.
INCREASE COMPETENCE
In self-leadership
Tap into your curiosity. As children, we are natural explorers. We ask endless questions of our parents, we take things apart to see how they work, and we always find the hidden cookie jar. Unfortunately, as we get older, we tend to lose (or suppress) a lot of our natural inquisitiveness, even though it is the driving force behind creativity and innovation. To rekindle your curiosity, ask more “why” questions, and try to listen more than you speak. It may help to spend some time around children!
Develop a learning attitude. Create the time and space to learn a new skill. Maybe it’s a new language, playing a musical instrument, undertaking a home renovation project, or anything else that is of interest or relevance to you. Mastering a new skill gives you a sense of accomplishment and a confidence boost, and the more tools you have at your disposal, the better you are equipped to solve problems and seize opportunities.
Expand your horizon. Immerse yourself in challenging experiences that introduce you to new ways of thinking. For example, consider joining a book club to read and discuss books that you would not have normally chosen for yourself, visit an art exhibition that you know nothing about, or enrol in a short online course that introduces you to a new topic or discipline (check out Coursera, edX or Udacity to explore an incredibly broad range of MOOCs offered – often for free – by international universities).
When leading others
Provide regular feedback. We need feedback to grow and develop in our roles. Helpful feedback is specific, timely (in other words: do not wait until the next performance review when you have feedback for someone now!), and behaviour-focussed (never make it about the person’s character, but a particular action or inaction). To a lot of people, “feedback” mainly means pointing out things that haven’t gone so well. While improvement-focus is of course an important goal, don’t forget to tell people what you appreciate about them and their work, too. Positive feedback and encouragement help people stay motivated and makes them feel seen in their efforts. Make sure your praise is focused on people’s contributions and specific accomplishments, not comparison with others.
Delegate. Your role as a leader is to empower and create a sense of ownership in others, and delegating is a great tool for this. Delegation can be an important opportunity for growth and development for your team – but only if you also delegate responsibility, not just tasks. Assess the right level of support required by considering the level of skill, practical experience, confidence, and preferred style of each team member. Ensure they have the support and resources they need, including the power to make decisions as necessary. When done well (i.e., when using it as a tool to develop individuals according to their strengths, preferences and needs), delegation is one of your key tools to engage and inspire your team, making them feel valued and connected to the organisation’s broader goals and strategy.
Create a learning culture. Don’t treat mistakes and failures as embarrassing accidents or unspeakable crimes! Instead, help your team understand that learning occurs when we explore why something didn’t quite work out, and what can be done differently next time to achieve better results. Learning from mistakes is a hallmark of teams with high levels of psychological safety (the secret ingredient to high-performing teams).
INCREASE RELATEDNESS
In self-leadership
Boost your connections (quality over quantity). Irrespective of which framework or model of wellbeing, mental health, or resilience you look at, regardless of which researcher or practitioner in the field you consult – they all put positive, trusting, and mutually beneficial relationships at the centre of human flourishing. Make time to connect and check-in with your friends, family, and colleagues. For example, consider boosting your mood by giving an old friend a call today, having lunch with a co-worker (even if it’s on Zoom), organising your family around the dinner table, or planning a picnic or social get-together with people you haven’t seen for a while.
Perform random acts of kindness. Research tells us that showing kindness to other people (doing something nice without expecting anything in return) makes us feel less stressed, reduces anxiety and depression, and boosts our happiness and confidence. Kindness starts with something as simple as smiling, looking directly at someone who does something for you, e.g., the barista serving your favourite coffee in the morning. Help a new colleague settle in, or send a note of gratitude to a friend, colleague, or someone else who has helped you in the past. Looking for more ideas? Check out this wonderful website full of kind ideas!
Give back to community. Volunteering is associated with increased wellbeing and higher levels of self-reported meaning and purpose in life. Individuals who report a greater interest in helping others are more likely to rate themselves as happy. Being of service to others, or making a positive difference in someone’s day (or life), doesn’t have to cost you much in terms of monetary expenditure or time investment, either. For example, you could donate clothes, books, and household items you no longer want (that are still in good condition) to a charity store instead of throwing them away.
When leading others
Prioritise regular check-ins and high-quality communication. Don’t let weeks go by before you speak to a team member, and avoid being the type of manager who only initiates a meeting when there is a problem. Instead, have regular catchups with all team members, both formal and informal, individually, and in a group. Relationships are built on conversations, and the health of a relationship is both shaped by and reflected in the quality of the communication between the parties involved. High-quality communication occurs when everyone is encouraged to share and express information and suggestions freely (without being dismissed, ridiculed, or interrupted), is listened to by others, and is met with respect and curiosity rather than judgment. Make it clear you care about employees’ wellbeing, not just their productivity.
Create a sense of belonging for everyone. We can develop a sense of belonging to a group or organisation when we feel fully seen, accepted, and supported for who we are. As a leader, it is your responsibility to create a workplace culture in which individuality is both noticed and valued. Role-model the inclusive and emotionally intelligent behaviour you want to see in others.
Promote collaboration and coming together. Enable opportunities to get together as a team. Morning and afternoon teas, team lunches, celebrations of personal milestones and successful completion of projects are important opportunities to socialise, form bonds and deepen relationships at work. While traditional, in-person team-building events may have been difficult to organise due to COVID or the existence of hybrid teams, you can create such moments during meetings and other formal and informal virtual get-togethers, for example, by providing a few minutes at the beginning of each meeting for socialising or light-hearted conversations. You can encourage the free flow and exchange of ideas and perspectives on a topic or challenge, and role-model trust and vulnerability by sharing selected personal information with the group to the level you are comfortable with.
The universal need for autonomy, competence and relatedness is weaved into the fabric of our psychological makeup as human beings. By tapping into, and leveraging these drivers, you can create sustainable motivation for yourself and others, leading to higher performance, goals being achieved AND wellbeing, which is clearly ahead of the old and tired carrot and stick approach.